Gum is not a snack.
The other night while I was watching television a gum commercial came on. I don’t even remember what kind of gum they were advertising, because I was so put off at the message they were trying to convey. They, being the gum makers, were trying to tell me that gum was a snack; that when I crave something sweet or salty or, whatever, that all I have to do is pop a piece of their gum in my mouth and I could fake myself out into believing that I was having a snack.
Don’t get me wrong, I love gum. I’m one of those annoying people who loves to manipulate a piece of gum around on my back molars while Im chewing, so that it pops and snaps. I blow little bubbles and pop them in my mouth. Yup, I’m fun to be around. I can chew the same piece of gum for hours, long after it has lost any trace of its cool arctic mint flavoring. I love it when I’m chewing gum and I drink something ice cold and the gum gets really hard for a few seconds. When I was younger, I even twirled my gum around on my finger. So, yeah, I love gum. But, gum is NOT a snack.
Graham crackers and milk are a snack. Chips and pretzels are a snack. Popcorn and Cheezits are a snack. Leftover pizza is a snack. Heck, even an apple or a bunch of raisins can be a snack, if you go for that kind of thing. A snack is something you chew and swallow, not just chew.
So, gum manufacturer, whoever you were, you should rethink your marketing strategy. We’re not stupid and we’re not so desperate to stay on our diets and deny ourselves the satisfaction of actually eating something, to be fooled into thinking that gum is a snack. It just isn’t.
And, you’ll never convince me that it is.
